


Everything and Nothing

by Era_Penn



Series: Through Death We Won't Part [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Afghanistan, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Kidnapping, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Rare Pairings, Search and Rescue, Terrorists, War, loved ones in danger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Era_Penn/pseuds/Era_Penn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SHIELD looked for Tony Stark (Phil headed the task force), but eventually they had to move on. Other things took priority - except to Phil Coulson, Tony was the priority. For one of the first times in his life, he took a leave, and Fury let him go.</p><p>Tony isn’t going to make it home. But he’s sure as hell taking as many of them with him as he can. Phil will miss him… what if he… Oh. OH. Get ready, Yinsen - we’re getting out of here.</p><p>Oh, and Obadiah? **** you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**May 17, 2010**

Tony Stark woke up tucked against a warm body and under said body’s arm, the frankly awful sound of jagged alarm clock ringing in his ears.

“Turn off,” he grunted, and Jarvis obeyed.

“Sir, your jet is scheduled to leave for Afghanistan at 0800 hours.”

Tony grumbled, but started shifting to get up, only for his bed partner’s arms to hold tighter. “Gonna be late,” he said.

“Stay a little longer.”

“Pepper’ll kill me.”

“It’s your plane, it’ll wait for you,” Phil replied, pressing a soft kiss to Tony’s nose.

“You’ve convinced me,” Tony replied, and drew up their left hands to fiddle with his husband’s wedding ring.

“I’m very convincing.”

“It’s that whole mild-mannered secret-agent thing you’ve got going. Downright impossible to refuse.”

Phil’s hands slipped lower as he hmmd. “If I’m a secret agent, maybe you should call me sir.”

Tony was late for that plane.

* * *

**May 18, 2010**

It wouldn’t hit the news channels until tomorrow, but Phil had connections other people didn’t.

Meaning he was the assistant director of SHIELD and knew everything.

Three minutes after Tony’s caravan was attacked, he knew there was a firefight.

Two minutes after the firefight was resolved, he knew they’d lost Tony - literally lost. No one had seen any sign of him at all.

One minute after that, colonel Rhodes called, and Fury granted Phil control of the SHIELD task force in charge of looking for the premier weapon designer on the planet, which was a smart move. Phil would do whatever it took to get his husband back, and no one wanted Tony Stark alive in the hands of terrorists. It was a bit twisted and not a little manipulative, but Phil didn’t care.

“I want Barton.”

“Not Romanov?” 

“She’s in too deep, we can’t pull her out right now. And I’m going to need someone to question my objectivity on this one.”

“You get Barton. Bring your boy home, agent.”

“As if you even need to ask.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s 02:00, and the clock on the wall of Phil’s office is ticking. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Phil can’t bring himself to tell Clint exactly why he is in such bad shape - and he knows the archer’s noticed, which says something about his state in and of itself. Phil is running himself ragged, trying to find out who attacked, who knew Tony was on that trip, who, who, who. Because if they could figure out who…

Maybe. Just maybe. They could figure out where.

Phil’s fists clenched on the table in front of him; his knuckles were probably white, but he couldn’t see them in the darkness of his office. He could do nothing right now, but despite how much he needed it, he couldn’t quite bring himself to sleep, either. There’s an ache that has settled deep in his chest, hollow and scraped and raw. He wonders, occasionally, if this is how Tony felt Then. Phil wonders if he’s going to feel it forever.

He shuts that thought out the moment it enters his head. That sounded too much like giving up. Tony would come home. He would come home. He would come home. They always made the promise when they were separated that they would come home. Phil had always thought Tony did so for his own sake, but now Phil remembers the number of abductions noted in the billionaire’s file and wonders if maybe Tony had done it for Phil just as much as for himself. 

(He’s picturing a tiny Tony Stark, taken and wondering if anyone cares enough to chase after him, to bring him home, and shit, Tony knows Phil’s coming for him, right?)

There’s a tap on his office door, and he frowns. He doesn’t answer. Fury comes in anyway. “You need to sleep, agent,” he says.

“Sorry, director, but that is not your concern.”

“You need to be operating at peak to bring him home.”

“I am aware.”

Fury’s eyes are on him, measuring. Phil wonders what he sees. He isn’t all too sure his mask has been holding up lately. He’s been slipping. Logically he knows that the lack of sleep is not a good thing. He’s lost weight, and his headaches have increased significantly. Phil thinks it’s fitting; matches that hollow spot in his chest.

Fury leaves, knowing he’s fighting a losing battle.

It’s 02:08, and the clock is ticking.


	3. Chapter 3

**July 1, 2010**

And then Clint Barton calls in from his investigations at SI.

“Stane’s dirty.”

“Are you certain?”

“Affirmative. Bringing in copies of the files now.”

“Call in upon arrival.”

“Yes sir.”

Coulson leaned back in his chair with a sigh. Tony had vanished almost two months ago, and it had worn him down. He had shadows under his eyes and his impeccable suits had recently shown minor wrinkles. Their lead on Obadiah Stane (provided by a suspicious Jarvis) was the only decent one they had; it appeared something would finally come of it.

Coulson’s hopes of getting Tony back in time for their anniversary were, it seemed, in vain. July fourth was looming, and there was no sign of the missing billionaire.

“Coulson.”

“Fury. I expected this call sooner, honestly.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ll need to take a leave of absence, sir.”

“Of course. You have three months and the air force.”

Coulson smiled slightly. Rhodey had been searching with the same desperate fervor as the agent, though with just as little luck. The military top brass had given the airman a three-month window before they would shut him down. “Understood, sir.”

SHIELD protocol gave its agents one month of company time (give or take the time it took to pull agents out of a situation) to find important assets; beyond that they were presumed dead. For Tony Stark they had already bent the rules as far as they could. Now Coulson would have to work even farther off-grid, and he wouldn’t have Agent Barton to back him up.

“Sir, I’ve arrived.”

Coulson stood. “Good; I will collect the flash drive on my way out. I’ve taken leave.”

“ _You’ve_ taken leave?” Barton’s disbelief was apparent.

“Yes, agent, I have. Turn in your reports.”

“Yes sir.”

* * *

Today, Tony Stark broke. He only knew the exact date because Yinsen overheard some of the guards talking about someone’s birthday. It was hard to reconcile that human detail with the men who had brutally tortured him for so long.

Today he gave in and agreed to build the missile.

Sitting and trying to come up with some plan to get them out of here, Tony’s thoughts drifted.

It was his anniversary in three days. He and Phil would be married two whole years.

Was Phil even looking for him? The marriage had been too good for Tony in the first place. Everyone said so, and they were right. Still, he’d cleaned up his act, let the press wonder about the mystery woman (ha) who had finally caught him in her grasp, and stayed sober.

(God, he needed a drink more now than he had since he’d sworn off the stuff.)

“Is this it, the last act of defiance of the great Tony Stark?”

Hm. Yinsen had a point. A plan began to take shape in his head, a stupid, foolhardy, ridiculous plan.

Hold on, Phil.

He’ll be home soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**July 12, 2010**

James Rhodes takes a massive gulp of liquor. Phil Coulson follows suit across from him. Tomorrow is a layover day; day-to-day maintenance has to be performed on their equipment, and their group needs a break from the endless searching of sand dunes. “Stupid sonvabish,” he slurs. “Goddam Tony. ‘M gonna kill him myself when he gets home.”

Phil grunted. “Tie him to the bed,” he muttered. “Watch supernanny for tips maybe.”

“Way too much info.” Rhodey groaned.

They drank themselves stupid and didn’t care about the hangovers in the morning.

**July 16, 2010**

Phil wakes up with James Rhodes at his bedside, looking like a jackal circling its prey.

“You fucking asshole!” Rhodey hisses. “How are we supposed to get him back if we collapse from exhaustion, because we couldn’t be bothered to eat a few protein bars on the plane? You do not get to hurt yourself looking for him! He’ll never forgive me!”

Phil frowned. “I… what?”

“You collapsed from dehydration and slight malnutrition, jackass.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“It had better not happen again. We had to take the day off, and we can’t afford to take any days off!”

Phil nodded. “Buy me some protein bars.”

Rhodey left.

**July 30, 2010**

Obadiah Stane in mourning stares up at them from the newspaper they received today. Phil ground his teeth together. He couldn’t worry about Stane right now. He couldn’t deal with it. He had to focus on Tony, on finding his cellist. Stane could be dealt with easily enough later.

Rhodey tore Stane’s face to shreds. “He’s not dead,” the soldier stated. “He’s _not_.”

“Too damn stubborn to die even when he wants to,” Phil agreed.

**August 17, 2010**

“This is it,” Phil said, and drank.

“This is it,” Rhodey agreed, and drank.

Tomorrow, the last ongoing search for Tony Stark would be dissolved, and Tony Stark presumed dead officially.

And so they drank.

* * *

This is it, Tony thought as Yinsen strapped him into layers of armor, starting the boot sequence. In a few hours, he went home. He was going to see Phil, and Yinsen would see his family.

This was it.


	5. Chapter 5

**August 18, 2010**

Rhodey and Phil took different jets. They covered more ground, increased the chance one of them would be there to find Tony. And they would. Find. Him.

Still, Rhodey can barely believe it, is out and running across desert sand faster than should be possible.

“How was the fun-vee?”

* * *

“Agent Coulson!”

He brushed past the nurses and guards attending the hospital room of Tony Stark. No one tried to stop him. Phil Coulson stalked down the hallway, determination in every line of his body. His normally perfect suit got wrinkles, and he could care less. Rhodey stayed behind, to fill out paperwork, to give the man a moment.

And then Phil Coulson came to a halt.

Phil stood outside the door, the only thing between him and Tony. They found him. Against all the chances, they _found him_.

He couldn’t do it. Phil couldn’t open the door. What if… what if it was all a lie? What if he was just dreaming? 

The door slid open, revealing a snarling Tony Stark brushing off frustrated medical personnel and waving off an oxygen mask. He froze, staring at the man staring at him. “Are you real?” he asked. His voice rasped, the hoarseness of a man lost in a desert.

Phil nodded.

Tony sobbed, and collapsed. Phil caught him, held him up, supported him back to bed, much to the shock of the nurses. He peppered gross, sandy, filthy hair with kisses, rubbed fingers through the greasy tangles, trailed light touches up and down Tony’s skin. The medical personnel left, gave them a moment.

“We found you, you’re safe,” Phil breathed. “We _found_ you…” His fingers encountered metal, and Tony flinched violently backwards. Phil froze. Tony came back to him, slowly, carefully.

“I’m not pretty anymore,” he mumbled.

Phil couldn’t help it; he laughed. “Honey,” he said, to Tony’s shocked face, “You’re alive. I could care less if you’re still pretty, and quite frankly, despite the alarming amount of dirt all over you, you’re as gorgeous as ever.”

Tony started to sob, and Phil held him close for a long, long time. 

“You really need a shower, sweetheart.”

And then things got interesting, and not in the fun way.

* * *

“Tony, listen to my voice, come back, you’re safe, it’s okay…”

Gradually, Tony became more aware of the warm, familiar voice coaxing him back from the water he’d gotten lost in. He focused on his husband’s face, mind racing, figuring out exactly what just happened.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s not your fault,” Phil replied. “We need to find a way to get you clean, though…”

“Just don’t let it hit my face. And don’t touch my hair or shoulders.”

Phil eyed him, and nodded. He looked a bit distraught.

Tony stayed tense the entire duration of the careful, careful shower. Once he was dried off, warm, curled up on the bed next to his husband, he relaxed. 

“I want to go home.”

“I’ll make it happen.”


	6. Chapter 6

Phil will never regret anything so much as he regretted letting Obadiah slip off of his priority list.

Tony came home. He threw himself into his work, let Phil hold him through the nightmares, and said almost nothing of Afghanistan. Phil waited. Watched. Made educated guesses and did his best to help Tony avoid standing water. Soon, SHIELD demanded he return from vacation; he did so reluctantly, on the basis he was to remain in the States for the next couple of months, due to personal reasons. 

(When people asked, he told them his mother was dying, his grandfather, his younger brother)

Clint and Natasha watched Phil. They brought him little packets of donuts, occasionally concert tickets for two or fancy wine. They were the only ones to guess that the famous Cellist was the reason for Phil’s distraction.

Tony goes out for a test flight, and Phil finds him in armor full of bullet holes, and that is a tank missile, and frankly, Obadiah Stane kind of moves to the back burner. He isn’t sure how to tell Tony that his closest father figure is a double dealing traitor, anyway.

He doesn’t have to. Tony and Pepper figure it out; who keeps such important information on a company computer anyway? Pepper calls him in for backup, and Phil goes with her to find that Obadiah is a problem, a major problem. He has a suit. A massive, electronic suit.

Phil’s heart stops in his chest when he sees the power source. No one could have developed an arc reactor except Tony Stark, and Tony’s is in his chest, Tony, Tonytonytonytonytonytony -

And then Tony is there. Phil’s heart starts beating again. He orders a medical team, YESTERDAY, gets transportation, gets everything ready for _after_ , because he’d known the world was filling up with people who couldn’t be matched, heroes who couldn’t be beaten, known Tony would become one… but he’d underestimated the difficulty of having to wait, and hope his husband came home because right now Phil could do nothing.

Medical arrives just in time for the arc reactor facility to explode, with Tony still on top of the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is because I'm moving (again) to go to a bigger university next week, and honestly, I have no idea when I'll update again, so instead you get a second update, in the same month! YAY! :D
> 
> ...seriously though, I'll try to update soon, might not happen, so sorry.
> 
> Also; I decided not to outline events so much as Phil's reactions to them. We all know the story; we just don't know Phil's side. Voila.


	7. Chapter 7

“Please, please just stick to the cards,” Phil sighs, straightening Tony’s tie as Ms. Potts watches in amusement.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony grumbles.

Phil sighs. This press conference is going to go so badly. He’s going to start getting premature gray hairs because of his ridiculous husband at this rate. Tony’s almost died so many times in the last few months that Phil’s not entirely convinced the man isn’t trying to die. 

“Sorry,” Tony says, giving him a hug. “I didn’t plan to worry you.”

Phil hugged back before pulling away. “Go show them how it’s done, sweetheart.”

Tony beamed and walked out into the flashing cameras and raging questions.

Phil buried his head in his hands. This was going to go so, so badly, and Fury would definitely blame Phil for it.

“I am Iron Man.”

“DAMMIT PHIL, CONTROL YOUR CELLIST!”


End file.
